10 Traits of a Highly Effective Dad

10 Traits of Effective Dads

1. They keep their lives de-compartmentalized.  They are the same man, husband and father regardless of where and when.  This directly connects to the character of these men.  None are perfect, but I would trust everyone of them with my kids.

2. They realize that their manhood and fatherhood is directly tied to their relationship with God.  This means time in God’s Word, time in prayer and time with God’s people is an essential part of their lives.

3. If still married, they uphold their wives as their number one friend and co-worker in life.  They realize that loving their wives is one of the greatest things they could ever give their kids and they protect their marriage like it’s their life.

4. They practice the discipline of meekness.  They exemplify the combination of humility and strength.   Men need to be strong for their families not at their families.  These great dads get this idea well.  In these homes, yelling and abuse of any kind is never tolerated.

5. They’ve tied their hearts to the hearts of their children.  There is a very special God-given bond that they cherish and cultivate on a daily basis.  This means they are always looking to create heart-moments with their kids, especially when it comes to sharing God’s love and truth with them.

6. They honor their child’s gender and unique giftedness.  They raise their sons to be men and their daughters to become women.  There is a difference and a good father knows how to engage both his sons and daughters.  When most dads pull back during the adolescent years, these astute men mentor and engage at an even deeper level.

7. They are great listeners and make themselves available for those “by the way” teaching moments and conversations with their children (Deut. 6:5-7).

8. They make their children feel special and believe in them.  I thought this quote by the late Jim Valvano is very fitting:  “My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.”  Great dads believe in their kids and their kids know how special they are.

9. Mercy and grace are a part of their households.  As sinners, these men know that we will always be dealing with offenses and trip-ups.  This makes mercy and grace two of their strongest relationship allies.   A saying we often come back to is, “forgiven and forgiving.”  In this regards, they take the lead in admitting when they are wrong and asking for forgiveness.

10. They take care of the fundamentals or basics (the list above:).  If something seems out of place with your life and your family, there usually are some fundamentals in your life that are not getting done.  That’s why prayerful evaluation is a life-trait of successful dads.  It’s hard to re-calibrate your life if it is constantly in the hectic mode.


Many of us could likely keep this list going into the hundreds.  Yet, if we take care of these basics, we will become better dads.  That reminds me of one last “Great Dad Trait.”  They get things done on a regular basis.  They’re not ones to put off something that needs to get done.  Procrastination is not in their life dictionary and execution is their middle name.

Our challenge and goal as fathers should be this simple:  To be the best dads we can be for our kids, understanding that we are all “God’s work in progress” and the results are ultimately His.  Just like in sharing our faith, as dads, we “plant and water.”  God grows them (1 Cor. 3:6).  As I submit my life and fatherhood role to God, my prayer is that He does His good work in and through me.  Praise God for that.

“being confident of this, that He who begun a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 1:6

Real Men Don’t

Real Men Don’t
 
I often heard growing up that there was a list of things men should never do in order to keep their manliness intact. Some of the more popular ones were:

Real men don’t cry.
Real men don’t wear pink.
Real men don’t eat quiche.
Real men don’t let other men eat quiche.
While this man-made list was more of an attempt to bring some humor into the differences between the sexes, it also sheds light on the shallowness of true manhood in today’s culture. Beyond the lists, there is an obvious cultural norm that uplifts a message of manhood that greatly contradicts God’s blueprint for being a man of God.

Within God’s master design, He created two distinct gender-types that would bring completion to His creation of “man.” From Genesis to numerous books of the New Testament, God provides a very defined explanation of what real men should purpose to look like, and trust me, none of God’s instructions mention quiche. However, God does touch upon the topic of men crying.

As a Christian man, my man code needs to be determined by God and not by the prevailing cultural norms of our day. Within the Person and life of Jesus Christ, along with God’s Word, I have the absolute picture of what a real man should look like. I also know a number of God-given directives that reveal some things that men should do as well as never do.

Here is a list, albeit a short one, in my pursuit to be a real man of God:

1. Real men don’t leave their wives.  See Ephesians 5:25-32, Mark 10:9

2. Real men honor their wives as co-heirs.  See 1 Peter 3:7

3. Real men are mission leaders to their children.  See Deuteronomy 6:6-7, Ephesians 6:4, Psalm 78:5-7

4. Real men build into the lives of other men.  See Proverbs 27:17

5. Real men don’t use their words to demean others.  See Ephesians 4:29

6. Real men don’t let their anger get away from them.  See James 1:19-20

7. Real men lead best when they love most.  See Ephesians 5:1-2; John 13:34-35

8. Real men are sacrificial for the sake of their Lord, family, and others.  See John 15:13

9. Real men are servants.  See Mark 10:45

10. Real men covenant to honor their marriage.  See Job 31:1

11. Real men can show their emotions (this includes crying).  See John 11:35, Matthew 21:12, Matthew 9:36

Again, this is just a quick “hit list” of ideals I know that God calls me to pursue to be a “real man” that lives for Him and His glory.  I also know that I will never get it all right.  Yet, my life objective is not to get it all right per say.  My life aim is to follow after The One who has and to trust that He will establish my steps along the way.

The Cross of Jesus

It’s one thing to wear a cross around your neck.  It’s another thing to nail yourself to it.

“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and game Himself for me” (Galatians 2:20).

Jesus told us that we cannot live for God and live for ourselves at the same time.  I know the reality of this statement all too well.  We can’t serve two masters (Matthew 6:24).

Yet, as men, this tends to be what we end up doing.  While God calls us to build our lives upon Him, we too often build our lives around Him.  We compartmentalize Jesus into one small area of our lives and miss out on the opportunity to having God impact every aspect of our lives.

Too many times, our faith is like the cross we wear around our necks.  It is something we can put on or take off as we choose.  If it’s not convenient to wear our cross at the workplace or within our marriage, we can just remove it.  Not so if you make a decision to nail yourself to it.  Regardless of the circumstance or the relationship, when you nail yourself to the cross, you will become less and Christ will become more.  This is where God does His greatest work in our lives.

“When Christ calls a man, He bids him come and die.”   – Dietrich Bonhoeffer

In order to recalibrate our lives upon Jesus, we need to refocus on the cross of Christ and the true meaning of His love.

More than anything love is not an emotion but a vow of commitment.  God’s love for us is delivered within a covenant promise sealed with His sacrifice and His commitment.  As a man of God this is my model of love.  There can be no real love apart from sacrifice and commitment.  For Christians God’s love was made most real at the cross.

As a husband and a father, my wife and kids know my love for them through my sacrifices and commitment.  Anything less is not love and they know this.  To say I love them and not be willing to put their interests before mine is not love.  The same holds true for commitment.  My love is only as real as I commit myself to their needs before God.

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Philippians 2:4).

Practically speaking, this means my wife and kids come before me and this is key.  I do it in a way that lets them know my delight in doing it.  Our love for others is and can be an act of worship before God (Romans 12:1).  In Christ, this is who God has made me to be:  A man that loves my wife as Christ loves His church and a father that trains my children in God’s ways.

God knows I’ll never attain perfection as a husband or a father.  Yet, to love my family as God loves me is my life priority.  It is my vow of love and my greatest life pursuit.  I can no longer just wear a cross; I must nail myself to it.

Inspiration:: Consecration

Consecration

Consecration is a vital key to fulfilling your purpose in life.  In Matt 26:36-42 we can see the Lord Jesus Christ in His prayer Life praying the prayer of consecration. These verses give us an example of Jesus’ dedication as He consecrated Himself to do the will of The Father. What Jesus was talking about when he prayed in the garden of Gethsemane , “ if it’s Possible, let this cup pass from me” Matt. 26:39.

Jesus Knew the cross laid before Him, He knew He was about to be made the sacrifice for sin on our behalf. Heb.9:26. Think of all the sins committed by mankind throughout all ages, the bible says Jesus was made sin for us so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. 2^nd Cor.5:21. But in the garden of Gethsemane, knowing He was going to the Cross, the pure, spotless Son of God drew back from the prospect of bearing the sin of all mankind and experiencing separation from God

No wonder when those final hours drew near, Jesus was sorrowful and heavy. Matt 26:38. Mark 14:34. Even though Jesus knew His substitutionary death for mankind was the reason He had come into the world, He battled the temptation to draw back from what was to come, and He prayed to God, “If it be possible, let this cup pass from me.”

The Prayer of consecration is not a onetime prayer, as is the prayer of faith. The prayer of consecration is a prayer you pray throughout your life. You will only be able to follow God’s plan for your life if you constantly maintain an attitude of consecration and surrender to the Lords will, whatever it may be.

Prayer of Consecration

Lord, I present myself unto you. May your WILL be done in my life. May I never forget that I have surrendered all I am to you.  

I commit myself to be one whom you can use – consecrated and separated unto your purposed. I’ll pay the price by denying the flesh. If you call me in the nighttime, I’ll get on my knees and pray. If I’m never seen of men, and if I always work behind the scenes, still I will be faithful. I lay aside all personal ambition; I’ll be one who walks in the spirit and in your perfect will. In Jesus, your will shall be wrought in my heart, in my life, and in my ministry. Amen

Source:: Following God’s plan for your life by Kenneth E Hagin

Practical Wisdom:: Be full of faith and not full of fear.

Bees and dogs can smell fear. Fear smells. Your body releases an odour through perspiration when you are afraid. This odour infuriates bees and dogs. In retaliation they will attack the source of that unpleasant odour. Likewise you emit a fragrant odour when your heart is full of faith. Rather than attack you, people will be attracted to you because of your fragrant smell. Have you ever been in a company of a person with a foul body odour? Recall how you wrinkled your nose and looked for how to get away? This is how you are when your heart is full of fear, worry and anxiety. God has not given you the spirit of fear but of Power, love and of a sound mind. Be full of faith and not full of fear.

Good News:: Obama Recognises, Commends 19-year-old Nigerian Harvard Finalist

Nigerian genius, Saheela Ibraheem, 19, made history On Thursday, February, 26, when she was honored with an official reception in the White House by the US President, Barack Obama and the First Lady, Michelle.

Saheela Ibraheem got into the Ivy League Harvard at the age of 15, where she is currently studying neurobiology — a branch of science that studies the brain — and has been listed among the “World’s 50 Smartest Teenagers.” She was also accepted for admission by 13 other top colleges in the United States, including the MIT, Princeton, Columbia, and six Ivy League institutions, choosing Harvard, she became one of the youngest students to ever attend the university. She will be graduating in May this year.

Speaking after an introductory speech by Ibraheem at the White House, President Obama stated that “there are a lot of teenagers in the world. Saheela is like one of the 50 smartest ones. That’s pretty smart. And she’s a wonderful young lady. She’s like the State Department and the National Institute of Health all rolled into one. And we are so proud of your accomplishments and all that lies ahead of you. And you reflect our history. Young people like you inspire our future.”

Ibraheem, who skipped two grades in school, said the key to success is figuring out what you love to learn as early as possible, which she did at the young age of five.

“If you are passionate about what you do, and I am passionate about most of these things, especially with math and science, it will work out well,” she told CBS 2s Cindy Hsu. In addition, Ibraheem speaks four languages that include Arabic, Spanish and Latin.

Her mother, Shakirat Ibraheem, said her daughter has been way ahead of the academic game since kindergarten — never cutting corners and trying to do everything on her own. “She’s like always independent,” she said. “I never get to help with her homework because she’d say ‘it’s my work mommy, not yours.’”

Ibraheem’s recognition and reception was part of the “Black History Month” celebration in the US, which comes up in February. The “Black History Month”, takes root from the activities of the “Association for the Study of African American Life and History.” Every year, Americans set aside the month of February to celebrate the central role that African-Americans have played in every aspect of American life especially the march for freedom and equality, jobs and justice, the Civil Rights Act, the Voting Rights Act, and some profound contributions African-Americans make in the American culture.

Present at the evening event were members of the US Congress, including Leader Nancy Pelosi, and members of the Congressional Black Caucus.

Thank God for you Saheela.

Good News:: Nigerian woman awarded Japan peace prize for anti-terror activism

A Nigerian woman who campaigns against terror group Boko Haram has been awarded the Japan Peace Prize.

Pastor Esther Ibanga received $170,000 (£110,000) on Tuesday (24 February) for her campaign against the widespread kidnappings and raids carried out by the insurgents throughout northern Nigeria, AFP reported.

Ibanga is also the founder of the Women Without Walls Initiative (WOWWI), an NGO that promotes the rights of women and children and provides a non-violent approach to conflict resolution in Nigeria.

The Niwano Peace Foundation, which awarded the prize to Ibanga, said she campaigned tirelessly and pressurized the central government in Nigeria to fight the extremists.

"Esther has worked extensively to foster and facilitate reconciliation between conflicting religious and tribal groups," the foundation said.

The award comes a few weeks after Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan postponed presidential elections by six weeks amid security concerns.

More Grace to you in Jesus Name.

Confidence

CONFIDENCE

Though a host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear. Though war should rise against me, even then will I be confident. Psalm 27:3. Statistic shows that women find confidence a stronger magnet for men than just good looks. Any woman who is bold, confident and fulfilled is rare species in the world of women and the search destination of prospective bachelors. Yes, Confidence weighs higher than good looks on social scales.  God want you to be full of confidence. He has not given you the spirit of timidity, but that of power, love and a sound mind. Confidence is a door opener.  In a world torn apart with crisis, confidence has become very expensive and valuable. Confidence don’t just happen, there are secretes to it.  These secretes are 

 

1.       Putting all your confidence in the God who created the whole universe, regardless of whatever you are facing or is facing you.

2.       Having confidence in yourself, knowing that God who created you did put in you all it takes to succeed. 

3.       Living your life with the understanding that God has never and will never disappoint those who put their trust in Him. 

Source: Practical wisdom for daily living.

Practical Wisdom

Birth is a beginning
And death a destination.
And life is a journey:
From childhood to maturity
And youth to age;
From innocence to awareness
And ignorance to knowing;
From foolishness to discretion
And then perhaps to wisdom;
From weakness to strength
Or strength to weakness-
And, often back again;
From health to sickness
And back, we pray, to health again;
From offense to forgiveness,
From loneliness to love,
From joy to gratitude,
From pain to compassion,
And grief to understanding-
From fear to faith;
From defeat to defeat to defeat-
Until, looking backward or ahead,
We see that victory lies
Not at some high place along the way,
But in having made the journey, stage by stage,
A sacred pilgrimage.
Birth is a beginning
And death a destination
But life is a journey,
A sacred pilgrimage-
To life everlasting.

SOURCE: Rabbi Alvin Fine